Letters to no one: October 29, 2021



Dearest,

I’ve yet to call you by name and I feel like that keeps you safe, or maybe I’m selfishly keeping you all to me. It’s strange how it doesn’t matter how long I’ve known you, I want to know you even more. I would not like anything to get in the way of me and you. I want to know you better than you know yourself, I want you to know me better than I know myself. Already we can communicate without ever saying a world. Just a stare into your eyes and the world is clearer. How those grey eyes keep my world afloat. The sun cannot match that brilliance in your eyes. And. Well. And I love you.

As my days continue on, it becomes clear that as much as we have been lovers, we continue to be partners. We continue on in this world making a difference in our own ways. We are not the same, but we share in life what each has. Yet, we are apart.

I would not say that we do not fight or argue, but rather we embrace the differences in our perspectives and we continue to exist and love. No matter how much I disagree with you, my hand still wants to be entwined in yours. I want to embrace the cold of your soft skin and stay silent in the intimate manner only two lovers like us can. No word. Hearts in sync. Eyes gazing deep into each other’s eyes. Skin bare. Safe. Comfortable. With no worry.

How long can we stay like this? Forever? How long do you want to be loved, because I’m never going to stop. No matter the distance. No matter the days between our next meeting. No matter the hurt. As I live, I feel you as a part of me. Forever does not seem enough to enjoy everything you are to me. So until the day I hold your hand once more, I close my eyes at night and hear your whisper. I am never ever going to give you up. The world can feel like you haunt me, but no, you inspire me and keep me alive.

Continue on your path and making the difference you need to make in this world. I will continue on as well and know that eventually we will meet again. We star-cross lovers may hardly ever have a happy ending, but rest we will together.

Yours always my love,
J

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